Explaining the Third Party Consultations For Intended Parents
When meeting with intended parents who are seeking fertility treatment using donor gametes, I am often asked: why? Why is this evaluation necessary and why is my fertility clinic requiring this be completed prior to moving forward? Here are a few reasons why your clinic is asking for this consultation and what to expect during the consultation as an intended parent.
Reasons For The Consultation:
Due to the Association of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) guidelines, most reproductive endocrinologists require patients and their partners, if partnered, to meet with a fertility counselor prior to using donor gametes. For intended parents, the consultation is not to assess your abilities as parents but rather assess readiness to move forward with treatment. The hope is to answer questions you may have regarding third party reproduction and to assist in identifying aspects you may not have previously considered.
What To Expect:
During the consultation, you and your partner, if partnered, will attend a 1 hour appointment with a fertility counselor. This fertility counselor should be trained in conducting 3rd party assessments. The provider will ask you a series of questions that follows ASRM’s guidelines and provide documentation to your fertility clinic regarding the consultation. The following is what you may find your provider discussing with you:
1. Explaining your reproductive journey
2. How/if you plan to disclose to potential offspring regarding their genetics
3. What does your support system look like
4. Will you want future same genetic siblings
5. What is important to you in choosing a donor
As a fertility counselor, I know the journey to becoming a parent may have been long and full of emotions. Being required to complete a psychological consultation in efforts to move forward in your goals feels frustrating. My desire is to leave you with at least 1 new thing you learned from meeting with me to assist you in navigating an overwhelming journey.
